Moving from “B” to “b”

Today I ended my internship with St. Louis Mennonite Fellowship. I stood outside, looking into the faces of dear friends who were sitting on log benches that made a semi-circle around an empty fire pit. I read the Mennonite communion litany and spoke words of institution over ciabatta bread and grape juice while a dog begged at the base of the table. I then proceeded to speak “God bless you” over lots of children while offering them ranch crackers and grapes. Ciabatta and ranch crackers are not exactly the typical makings of communion in the Fellowship, but on church retreat communion supplies can be difficult to separate from the bread at dinner and crackers available for snacking. I felt a little like St. Francis as I offered the leftover communion crumbles to the birds and wildlife of the forest. “May God bless you, too.”

The night before, we had arrived to the camp grounds around 8:30 following class in Kansas City. I was promptly presented with a Snapple to toast the progress of my book. At lunch today, another friend handed me watermelon pickles which she brought for me to add another new food to my “30 before 30” list.

The summer has passed quickly, but with the sort of connection that takes years to build at many places. I’ve quizzed these new Mennonite friends, trying to figure out just who they are, and if this congregation is rare or part of a larger group that looks very similar. In the process, I’ve felt my grip on Baptist life opening.

Before this retreat, I spent time with my ministry mentor. I confessed to her that I had fallen in love with the Mennonites. As I described St. Louis Mennonite Fellowship, she begged me to tell her something bad. She confessed that I may have converted her, as well. We talked about what this might mean for me, for my heritage and life as a Baptist. I said that I feared affiliating with the Mennonites might mean an end–goodbyes that I do not want to make. She asked if I could imagine another way. I offered that my mental image is one of holding hands with both the Baptists and the Mennonites.

As I talked to Mary, a Mennonite missionary to Ukraine, she offered a similar story. She works with many Baptists in Ukraine, and we shared tales of our desire to live in a wider world.

The Baptists came from the Mennonites, after all. A group of separatists stumbled across the Mennonites, came to accept believer’s baptism and worshiped with the Mennonites for a while. Part of them simply joined the church, the others left as the first Baptists.

Today, I’m embracing a new life as a little “b” baptist, a term many have used to refer to a larger tradition that joins the Baptists with the anabaptists. In doing a web search for the term, I realized that my friend Leroy has written a very similiar blog post, called “Baptist with a Small ‘b.’” This summer I learned about another friend with a deep love for Baptists who has joined a Mennonite church.

Madeleine L’Engle and Anne Lamott both talk about being every age you have ever been. The idea that here at 29 I am every bit as much my 3-year-old self, my 17-year-old self, my 24-year-old self. I think the same applies. As I embrace the “small b” title, I don’t give up my Baptist tradition, I expand it. I am always my Baptist self, even as I am my baptist self.

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7 Comments

Filed under 30 Before 30, book project, mennonite, ministry, reflection

7 responses to “Moving from “B” to “b”

  1. I love this. Throughout the summer we have become friends with two families of Amish. How blessed we are to share our different traditions, ask questions and respect each other’s journey. I also am deeply drawn to my Jewish friends and to the Temple worship. surely God must have meant for us all to live in community . . .

  2. Jane Haller

    Beautiful post (with a capital B). We are so very pleased and blessed to be sharing your walk, Jennifer. I like your “yes, and” mindset here. I came to mennonite fellowship (purposeful lowercase, these all should be verbs instead of proper nouns) as a healing place after a more fundamentalist Lutheran upbringing. (Every once in a while I still need a high church, pipe organ blast of a service as a bit of a mental Ctrl-Alt-Delete.) One of the things that does make the mennonite fellowship possible for me is the shared humility in the face of God’s mystery and majesty — how *could* we have everything right? We’re not in charge of deciding who else has what right or wrong — it’s enough to attempt daily to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and love my neighbor as myself. Since one of my faults is being generally pleased with myself, the second part of that injunction demands positive, charitable outlook and action.

    Thanks and Amen, sister.

  3. I think you’ll like it! I’m trying to get it back in Plowsharing. Cheeze says he’ll order if they call, but last I heard, they hadn’t . . .

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